A Symphony, a Chorus, a Jam Session
A truck went blatting by on the interstate, and then it was silent, but for the mosquitoes singing their blood song, while the rest of the insect world screeched either in protest or accord, I couldn’t tell which, thrumming and thrumming, until the night felt as if it were going to burst open and leave us shattered in the grass.
“The Night of the Satellite,” by T. Coraghessan Boyle
Boyle’s sentence serenades us with sounds, not only at the content level but also at the word level. It announces its keen attention to sound from the get-go with the word “blatting,” which means a raucous noise or a bleating. It’s an example of onomatopoeia, the use of words that imitate the sounds associated with the object or actions they refer to. And what an original way to describe a truck driving by, with freshness sparking the page. “Blatting,” a word surging with plosives, with the “b” and “t” exploding from the mouth, a perfect sound for a truck, which contains its own plosives.
The blatting contrasts with what follows next: silence. But silence is never absolute. The mosquitoes are singing their blood song, which tips into the category of paradox, apparently contradictory terms that contain a measure of truth. In this case, the mosquitoes would celebrate with a blood song.
Then to the rest of the insect world, screeching— another example of onomatopoeia.
Boyle uses a correlative conjunction, “either/or” creating another contrast (antithesis) between “protest” or “accord.” He inserts a small parenthetical, “I couldn’t tell which,” ushering in the narrator, the one who is listening.
The insects add more to the symphony with “thrumming and thrumming.”
The sounds accumulate and build to the end of the sentence, with the subordinate clause and the speculative simile, “until the night felt as it if were going to burst open and leave us shattered in the grass.” Two more sounds come into this ending, with “burst” and “shattered.” In the finale, this sonorous sentence delivers six sounds for our reading ears.
Your Turn
Open with a base clause and include your first sound. Can you use onomatopoeia and imitate the sound of the object or action?
Add a conjunction, and now write your second base clause with a second sound that contrasts with the first sound.
The conjunction “but” always turns a sentence. How can the next part of the sentence head in a different direction and introduce a third sound (singing)? Can you add a paradox? (like blood song)
Now add a dependent clause (“while the rest of the insect world..) that includes your fourth sound. And a correlative conjunction, “either/or; not only/but also; not/but; rather/than”). Can a fifth sound come in?
Here’s your finale, a dependent clause with your fifth and sixth sounds.
This sentence is a symphony, a chorus, a jam session:
Alliteration: blatting/by/but/blood/burst; and singing/song/screeched/shattered. It’s as if the plosives are battling the sibilants in equal measure.
Assonance: mosquitos/protest/open; and blatting/shattered/grass; and truck/but/blood/thrumming/until
Boyle also builds patterns of stresses. For instance: a TRUCK went BLAT-ting by. Do you hear the lack of heavy stresses in the next base clause: and then it was SI-lent. One more: mo-SQUI-toes SING-ing. (capitals=heavier stresses)
Try it!
Let me know what else you see.
How did it go?
About Me
I’ve taught “Style in Fiction,” “Word for Word” and “Cultivating Your Prose” at the University of San Francisco and Stanford Continuing Studies since 2007. In each of these classes, we spend 10 to 15 weeks drenched in the beauty of sentences, reading them and writing them. It’s such a pleasure! I’ve watched my writing and my students’ writing blossom with this practice of paying close attention to the sentence.
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