We enjoyed swimming, until the mystery of tides was explained in such a way that the ocean seemed nothing more than an enormous saltwater toilet, flushing itself on a sad and predictable basis.
“Genetic Engineering,” by David Sedaris
Can you learn how to write humor? Sure. What’s funny is subjective, but writing humor isn’t. There are style techniques that you can use to create humor.
Before I go further, let me quote E.B. White: “Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. You understand it better but the frog dies in the process.”
OK, with that out of the way, I’m forging ahead. Even if you don’t aspire to be a comedic writer, you still need some humor. Without it you deny the character’s basic humanity, making them thin, a little less lively. Even in the worst of times, humans find a way to laugh. We need a break from the heavier stuff in life and in fiction. It doesn’t have to be laugh-out-loud, knee-slapping humor, but a recognition that something is not serious.
Sedaris is a master at writing humor. The other night in class, we spent an hour with his short story, “Genetic Engineering,” noting where we laughed and extracting techniques for writing humor. (FYI: some of us laughed, some did not… i.e., the subjectivity of funny).
In Sedaris’s sentence, we noted the contrast, or antithesis, between the simple sentence and the subordinate clause. The simple sentence, “We enjoyed swimming,” sets up pleasure, fun, frolicking. Sedaris and his siblings are happily swimming in the ocean. Then comes the subordinate clause that hauls in analytic dad, giving them a scientific explanation of the ocean and its tides. What was previously fun is no longer. Mystery is wiped out; hard facts rush in, and the ocean turns into a saltwater toilet, flushing itself on a sad and predictable basis.
You can think of this sentence as a metaphor.
Domain 1: Natural World--the ocean
Domain 2: Human Appliance--a toilet
The bigger the gap between the two domains, the more likely you’ll create something funny. You can heighten the humor even more if you pick a funny image for Domain 2. The next step is to find what the two domains have in common. In Sedaris’s sentence, they both involve water, and the ocean has tides while the toilet flushes. (Is the frog dead yet?)
For some reason, plosive sounds (t,d,k,g,p, b) have more comic value than, say, sibilants or liquids and glides. In Sedaris’s sentence, it’s not only a toilet, but a “saltwater toilet,” which introduces two more plosives, creating a more humorous sound.
Hyperbole or exaggeration is another technique to create humor. Here, the ocean “seemed nothing more than an enormous saltwater toilet.” There are two hyperbolic words, “nothing more,” and “enormous.” Forget facts, head to the extreme.
Try it!
Start with a simple sentence (subject/verb predicate) that includes one type of emotion. Sedaris used “enjoyed.” Include an activity that elicits that emotion. Here, it’s swimming in the ocean.
Now think of the opposite of that emotion. Sedaris used “sad and predictable.”
Time to play.
What will be your Domain 1?
What are the possibilities for your Domain 2?
If you want something new or original, don’t go with the first thing that comes to mind. According to my friend who is a creativity expert and a comedic writer, your brain first comes up with thoughts that have the most energy, and those are the ones you’ve heard before. Because you’ve heard them before, they have more synaptic connections, so the brain grabs them. Write them down so they clear out, then the less familiar, more original thoughts will pop up.
Now, what do Domains 1 and 2 have in common?
Add to the simple sentence a subordinate clause that includes whatever you came up with for Domain 2. Can you add one more modifying phrase that ushers the new, contrasting emotion?
Let me know how it goes!
What else do you see?
PS: I’m starting to see pictures on social media of the new Stunning Sentence Creative Writing Journal! It’s alive, living its best life.
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Thank you!
It's Just a Saltwater Toilet
I like also how in this sentence Sedaris uses "mystery...explained," which is a play on the killing the frog concept. So he shows how the the explanation killed the mystery - like disscection kills the frog - while setting up his joke anyway. Whether intentional or not, very meta.
Funny, funny, funny. It starts so innocently and organically then moves to become knowledgeable and mechanical. What I really like is the middle: 'in such a way that ...' which extends the sentence off the page into an event which you can imagine in many ways. Otherwise it would be: 'We enjoyed swimming, until the mystery of tides was explained as an enormous saltwater toilet, ....'. Factually about the same but direct and impersonal. It's interesting how the middle, with its indefinite terms, adds so much.