The Power of Invention
"Our Lady of Peace" by ZZ Packer from the collection Drinking Coffee Elsewhere
She found herself sharking the room, telling duos here and trios there that they should not be talking about their neon fingernail polish or the Mos Def lyrics in front of them, but the novel at hand, Their Eyes Were Watching God.
“Our Lady of Peace,” by ZZ Packer from the collection Drinking Coffee Elsewhere
In this short story, Lynnea enrolls in a teaching program that promises certification in a single summer. Eight weeks later, she’s teaching freshman English at an inner-city Baltimore school. She finishes her first week, and though the students are rowdy and don’t pay attention to her, she thinks she can do it. Week two, she’s yelling and ready to quit.
In Packer’s sentence, Lynnea is still composed, handling the class as she was taught, believing she can do this job. The sentence simulates composure and even eloquence with balance, the pairing of two things:
1. telling duos here (and)
2. [telling] trios there
Followed by more balance: “they should not be talking about their:”
1. neon fingernail polish (and)
2. Mos Def lyrics
Balance is a subset of parallelism, with similarity of structure in a pair or series of related words, phrases, or clauses.
“The matching of phrase against phrase, clause against clause, lends an unmistakable eloquence to prose,” writes Richard D. Altick in Preface to Critical Reading.
But with the word “sharking,” we sense her composure is on shaky ground. “Sharking” is an invented word, built from the noun “shark,” and turned into a present participle to describe “herself.” The technique is called anthimeria, the substitution of one part of speech for another. The originality catches the eye and ear, and now the sentence is infused with the character’s language and is in contrast to the balance and eloquence. With this word, we begin to experience a unique individual. While it has some urban street lingo meaning (according to Wikipedia), it compares Lynnea’s movements in the classroom to a shark, prowling and patrolling, watching for the transgressions.
More humor comes in through antithesis or opposites. Parker contrasts the frivolous and the serious: what the students are doing—talking about neon nail polish and Mos Def lyrics—and what they should be doing, reading Zora Neale Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God. The antithesis also creates tension, and it feels like whatever balance the protagonist has will soon be lost.
Your Turn
Open with a base clause, the subject and verb predicate. Since we’re practicing, you can begin with “She found herself.”
Use anthimeria, to modify “herself,” using one part of speech for another. Like Packer, you can take a noun and add an -ing. This is functioning as a present participle.
Add another present participle—a verb + ing. Can you add balance?
Now add a relative clause beginning with “that.” For your verb, use “should,” which will help set up the contrast. The contrast is between what someone is doing and what they should be doing. Can you use more balance?
Try it!
How did it go?
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I cast an eye around the pit, locking with the errant strings and the wilful ones in percussion, demanding they desist from improvisation and return from off-piste to the purity and precision of Mendelssohn's Hebridean score.
Memories dogging him, striking down barriers to the unknown, telling him at odd moments when he was mindfully chopping wood or when the sight of falling snowflakes dislodged recall of the moment he had said, “We will all be killed. This is where I die,” that he had not died.