I always love to read your choices trying to predict what you may be unpacking. Only to find out that I notice maybe 3 out of 10 of those things. What a fun sentence you chose there.
Aloha Nina, I'm so thrilled that you wrote about these sentences. I first read "Devices and Desires" when it came out in 1989 and the image of that hotel has stuck with me ever since.
Thank you for sending this sentence to me! I always get the question of whether genre stories can have style. This was a perfect response. And a stunning sentence!
Aboslutely! In fact PD James brought a number of literary techniques to her writing, which at the time was a huge break from the traditional "closed room" murder mystery. She revolutionized the genre. For most mysteries, you expect to find a dead body on page one. In her book, "A Certain Justice" she begins her story and the body doesn't show up for at least 100 pages, but when it does you know why the victim deserved to die and have been introduced to at least five characters who wanted the victim dead.
Wow! I'm going to have to read that book! There is great tension in upending reader expectations. Then you have to ask: what are you offering instead? It sounds like style became part of that offering.
The road ahead stretched infinitely pre-urban as far as the eye could see, a premonition grew stronger in her with each tick of her dashboard Jesus. The sun shone in the sky above, clear and robin's egg blue, but the surrounding fields sprawled out dry, quick to catch flame, like the anger of a spurned lover. She drove on and on.
Lovely! You have the echo of the prefix "pre," which means before or early or in advance of. So there is a hint of foreboding and that's emphasized with "premonition." I love the image of the "dashboard Jesus," almost like a talisman swaying along as she drives the road. Then the mood shifts with the sun and the clear sky. The sentence turns with "but" and we are back to the sense of foreboding with the fields "sprawled out dry, quick to catch flame." I love the simile! And that also invites in another story thread--the spurned lover. Such good compression to use the simile in two ways.
This sentence made me want to read the book again! I'm having fun thinking in sentences. ---
The old Victorian just fit on its square corner lot, squeezed by the mid-century housing boom and a shaggy elm. A peeling picket fence bordered the right angle of sidewalk, the porch light was on and one lamp domed with a painted rose shade burned each evening in a tall front window framed inside with drapes and outside with dusty camellia bushes. Somebody lived there.
Wonderful! The mood is the new and modern is swallowing up the old. The second sentence shifts deeper into the old house and a sense of decay with a "peeling picket fence." There's a hint of personification with "squeezed," which suggests that the mid-century housing boom and elm have agency. Love the "dusty camelia bushes," which draws even more attention to the old and decay. There's a sense with the short sentence at the end that the narrator is surprised someone lives there. And that, too, contributes to the mood of decay and being pushed out/smothered by the new. How could someone live there? How could there be life there?
I always love to read your choices trying to predict what you may be unpacking. Only to find out that I notice maybe 3 out of 10 of those things. What a fun sentence you chose there.
thank you!
I love the relationship of the established mood to the title--each is better/more fun with the other.
I hadn't thought of that. So good!
This is a great grammatical and syntactical breakdown of these opening lines - perfect for a grammar nerd like me. Well done.
Thank you!
My first time reading one of your posts. Very interesting! Thanks!
Welcome!
Aloha Nina, I'm so thrilled that you wrote about these sentences. I first read "Devices and Desires" when it came out in 1989 and the image of that hotel has stuck with me ever since.
Thank you for sending this sentence to me! I always get the question of whether genre stories can have style. This was a perfect response. And a stunning sentence!
Aboslutely! In fact PD James brought a number of literary techniques to her writing, which at the time was a huge break from the traditional "closed room" murder mystery. She revolutionized the genre. For most mysteries, you expect to find a dead body on page one. In her book, "A Certain Justice" she begins her story and the body doesn't show up for at least 100 pages, but when it does you know why the victim deserved to die and have been introduced to at least five characters who wanted the victim dead.
Wow! I'm going to have to read that book! There is great tension in upending reader expectations. Then you have to ask: what are you offering instead? It sounds like style became part of that offering.
I’ve always loved P.D. James and now I know why!
The road ahead stretched infinitely pre-urban as far as the eye could see, a premonition grew stronger in her with each tick of her dashboard Jesus. The sun shone in the sky above, clear and robin's egg blue, but the surrounding fields sprawled out dry, quick to catch flame, like the anger of a spurned lover. She drove on and on.
Lovely! You have the echo of the prefix "pre," which means before or early or in advance of. So there is a hint of foreboding and that's emphasized with "premonition." I love the image of the "dashboard Jesus," almost like a talisman swaying along as she drives the road. Then the mood shifts with the sun and the clear sky. The sentence turns with "but" and we are back to the sense of foreboding with the fields "sprawled out dry, quick to catch flame." I love the simile! And that also invites in another story thread--the spurned lover. Such good compression to use the simile in two ways.
This sentence made me want to read the book again! I'm having fun thinking in sentences. ---
The old Victorian just fit on its square corner lot, squeezed by the mid-century housing boom and a shaggy elm. A peeling picket fence bordered the right angle of sidewalk, the porch light was on and one lamp domed with a painted rose shade burned each evening in a tall front window framed inside with drapes and outside with dusty camellia bushes. Somebody lived there.
Wonderful! The mood is the new and modern is swallowing up the old. The second sentence shifts deeper into the old house and a sense of decay with a "peeling picket fence." There's a hint of personification with "squeezed," which suggests that the mid-century housing boom and elm have agency. Love the "dusty camelia bushes," which draws even more attention to the old and decay. There's a sense with the short sentence at the end that the narrator is surprised someone lives there. And that, too, contributes to the mood of decay and being pushed out/smothered by the new. How could someone live there? How could there be life there?
Thanks Nina. I had to laugh when I read it out loud --there are a lot of popping 'Ps'!