This was hard! My highlighter was busy marking stresses, but I lost the count. Is it 4, 3, 3, 4, 3, 4?
Winter overtakes the pleasure garden, overhead brittle remnants of bouyant, twirling vines, a brush of rime crunches underfoot; songbirds flit and hide, mute ushers of spring to come.
I have just written the full Yeats poem out in the back of my notebook to read at the train station and other waiting situations - what a brilliant idea - thank you! :)
Thank you for taking the time to break it down! When I read it out loud, I tend to flow through 'pleasure', pause before 'of', and swallow 'ushers'. Also didn't realize how many stresses I had on the first syllable. Interesting that the later syllable stress happens in the words overtakes, overhead, underfoot. Quite unconscious.
Me, too. And I've memorized them, so I hope the rhythm will appear. Actually, in my novel-in-progress, I've made the 4-3-4-3 rhythm appear in a sentence.
Nice! I know I have heard tell of Garth before, but I can’t remember exactly. Sorry about being in past and future tense at once, but maybe they balance one another somehow?
Your book has arrived. Now I just need to carve out time in which to dwell in it! Merry Hana-Solsti-Kwanzaa-Mas!!
This was hard! My highlighter was busy marking stresses, but I lost the count. Is it 4, 3, 3, 4, 3, 4?
Winter overtakes the pleasure garden, overhead brittle remnants of bouyant, twirling vines, a brush of rime crunches underfoot; songbirds flit and hide, mute ushers of spring to come.
Really beautiful rhythm! I love this!
If you're referring to the rhythm of your passage, I get the folllowing (heavier stresses in caps)
WINter overTAKES the PLEAsure GARden (4),
overHEAD BRIttle REMnants of BOUyant, (4)
TWIRling VINES, (2)
a BRUSH of RIME CRUSHes underFOOT, (4)
SONGbirds FLIT and HIDE, (3)
MUTE USHers of SPRING to COME. (4)
The pleasure garden is so wonderful, so unexpected.
I have just written the full Yeats poem out in the back of my notebook to read at the train station and other waiting situations - what a brilliant idea - thank you! :)
So great!! It'll soak into the fabric of you.
I hope so I can't quite hear anything yet... I find all of your posts so useful. Thanks Nina :)
Hannah,
I'm so glad!
Nina
Thank you for taking the time to break it down! When I read it out loud, I tend to flow through 'pleasure', pause before 'of', and swallow 'ushers'. Also didn't realize how many stresses I had on the first syllable. Interesting that the later syllable stress happens in the words overtakes, overhead, underfoot. Quite unconscious.
Thanks! We learned something new today - just like most grammar rules, the comma splice rule can be broken too :)
Yes! And here is where the creative comes into creative writing.
Thank you, Nina! Those Yeats lines really bring me into that twilit scene! I was will check out the link!!
Me, too. And I've memorized them, so I hope the rhythm will appear. Actually, in my novel-in-progress, I've made the 4-3-4-3 rhythm appear in a sentence.
Nice! I know I have heard tell of Garth before, but I can’t remember exactly. Sorry about being in past and future tense at once, but maybe they balance one another somehow?
Your book has arrived. Now I just need to carve out time in which to dwell in it! Merry Hana-Solsti-Kwanzaa-Mas!!