What I love about this sentence how I feel two different perspectives at the same time. I can imagine Miles thinking this exact sequence and seeing himself through others eyes; and I can imaging others watching and thinking about what Miles is thinking as they go about prophesying what he will do next. If flows so smoothly in both contexts.
I’m stealing “pre-mortified” and all its cousins.
Big fan of polysyndeton. I love the rhythm and the emphasis, as you mentioned, especially in action sequences. For example, he punched and kicked and flailed and screamed and etc, etc.
I’m having a post-mortified post-mortem for the crooning pre-coronary corner coroner. Come one, come all.
Joking aside, what a delicious sentence that is. Dying to read the whole story, but the one sentence is so energy-dense, it’s virtually a story as it stands.
Love how Miles's age plays narrative tricks throughout. He's ten. Messes up. Worried people will laugh at him. That's ten. But pre-mortified isn't ten-year-old vocabulary and everything after the em dash is a fond remembrance. At what age do you start calling someone precious? That feels at least a decade later if not many more.