Time as an Edifice
Though it was only a matter of months, that time was so large and luminous that it dwarfed entire decades of my life, like a great edifice in the middle of a city that can be seen from miles away.
Second Place by Rachel Cusk
I’m always interested in how literature handles time, so this sentence grabbed me and filled me with delight. Time takes on an actual physical shape through a simile, and, given the context, it feels exactly perfect to me. Some events in a life balloon because of their extraordinary significance and take up far more temporal acreage than other events.
This sentence refers to when the narrator first met Tony, the love of her life whom she eventually marries. Cusk opens with a subordinate clause, grounding us in the passage of time, “Though it was only a matter of months.” It also sets up a contrast between the short period of time, only a matter of months, and the immense impact it had. Contrast invites tension into the sentence and creates more vividness.
Now we come to the base clause, “that time was so large and luminous.” I slow down, luxuriating in the music of balance (the pairing of two) and alliteration and just enough variation to excite the ear, “large and luminous,” with a one-syllable word followed by a more flowing, melodic three-syllable word. “L” is a liquid, and the sound is flowing because when it’s spoken, there is no obstruction to the airflow. The elegance of this pairing creates a feeling that the time was wonderful and lovely.
The choice of “that” as opposed to “the” has a heavier stress, and followed by the heavier stressed word “time,” the sentence slows, making “that time” stand out, mimicking how it felt for the narrator.
A relative clause follows the base clause and conveys the consequence of that large and luminous time: “that it dwarfed entire decades of my life.” The word “dwarfed” leaps off the page for me. It’s a nod, a gesture toward what is coming—time will take a physical shape.
And this transformation comes with the simile: “like a great edifice in the middle of a city that can be seen from miles away.” The word “edifice” stands out for me. Not a building, not a skyscraper, but an edifice, which Merriam Webster defines as a “large and massive structure.” It comes from the Latin aedis, a variant of aedes, which means temple and/or sanctuary. Now, that is a way to describe the beginning of a great and enduring love.
Your Turn
Begin the sentence with a subordinate clause. You’ll create a contrast between this opening and the following base clause.
Now add your base clause. (A base clause is also called an independent clause, which can stand alone) Can the subject of your base clause be something abstract, like Cusk’s “time”? Can you use balance and alliteration?
Add a relative clause, using the relative pronoun “that,” and describe the consequence of the base clause.
Use a simile so the abstract subject takes a physical form.
How did it go?
What else do you see?
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I’ve taught “Style in Fiction,” “Word for Word,” and “Cultivating Your Prose” at the University of San Francisco and Stanford Continuing Studies since 2007.
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Since spending 5 weeks in Greece in 2018, that time has truly loomed large for me, and the space within me that the experience fills is truly a temple.
Now that he had reached stage nine, its gradient increased so suddenly and surreptitiously that it clouded any previous climb of his cycling memory, like a massive hazard sign clanging in the wind demanding a revised strategy.