And at the sand dune beach the water was cold and swishy around my feet and the seagulls were loud in the sky, and my dad he lifted me and let me ride way up on his shoulders so high I saw all the way where the streaky orange sun was falling through the clouds into the ocean at Hawaii.
Beautiful! And I hear the diction of the child. Love "swishy" and then the stripped-down language of "loud in the sky." And how the "streaky orange sun" is falling through the clouds into the ocean, with causation made up on the spot.
This was fun for me - trying to imagine my son's voice (who is only semi-verbal) to describe a favorite toy of his when he was younger. I love when authors write in a way that is true to the age of the person, and it's so refreshing to see through the eyes of a child.
And the exercise ball was so smooth with tiny ridges going round that I rubbed with my fingers, and it was huge gray like an elephant, and rolled under my bounces thump-thump down the hall.
And at the sand dune beach the water was cold and swishy around my feet and the seagulls were loud in the sky, and my dad he lifted me and let me ride way up on his shoulders so high I saw all the way where the streaky orange sun was falling through the clouds into the ocean at Hawaii.
Beautiful! And I hear the diction of the child. Love "swishy" and then the stripped-down language of "loud in the sky." And how the "streaky orange sun" is falling through the clouds into the ocean, with causation made up on the spot.
This was fun for me - trying to imagine my son's voice (who is only semi-verbal) to describe a favorite toy of his when he was younger. I love when authors write in a way that is true to the age of the person, and it's so refreshing to see through the eyes of a child.
And the exercise ball was so smooth with tiny ridges going round that I rubbed with my fingers, and it was huge gray like an elephant, and rolled under my bounces thump-thump down the hall.
Delightful! “Huge gray like an elephant.” This is so in the moment!