There was fresh air and blue skies over a farmer's newly sown field of corn, which gave the murder of crows in a nearby tree a target for a raid that day.
I am veering off from the original, with an appositive at the end.
There was a riotous band of stratus clouds above the inlet, against which rose the last houses on Front St, their secret passages a safe haven for stowaways.
This is a gorgeous sentence. I love how it takes the reader right in there, so economically. I don't know if my sentence, below, by giving two contrasting moods, sort of cancels itself out. If it does, I might try again. Here it is:
There was a glowering, moody sky over the lake, which subdued the usual tendency of the water, on hot summer holiday mornings, to laugh and sparkle and dance in carefree abandon.
Amazed how such short sentences can convey such a depth of scene. Lovely. Here's mine:
There was a meagerness in each cowering herb or bush, leaves cupped or contracted, which made the tired blue sky above appear stingy and withholding.
Thank you so much for this post. Here's something from a speculative short story I'm editing right now:
There were clusters of earthquakes, each more deadly than the last, which gave the atmosphere a sullen and antagonistic aspect.
There was fresh air and blue skies over a farmer's newly sown field of corn, which gave the murder of crows in a nearby tree a target for a raid that day.
Thanks a lot. I really appreciate you including short sentences from time time.
I am veering off from the original, with an appositive at the end.
There was a riotous band of stratus clouds above the inlet, against which rose the last houses on Front St, their secret passages a safe haven for stowaways.
This is a gorgeous sentence. I love how it takes the reader right in there, so economically. I don't know if my sentence, below, by giving two contrasting moods, sort of cancels itself out. If it does, I might try again. Here it is:
There was a glowering, moody sky over the lake, which subdued the usual tendency of the water, on hot summer holiday mornings, to laugh and sparkle and dance in carefree abandon.